Long time no postage aywhere,

Alot has changed in the last 5 months.

Like many around me i expereinced something that you hope to never happen, from that a series of self relfections began. I had stoped going to church because i found the church as an organisation to be infuriating, condemming, non-observant, judjemental, thealogically incorrect in some of thier doctrine, and accepted norms. I soon realised that i intern was condemming thoes i had known for years as a result of them biening involved in a church. i was angry realising that it was me and not the chuch nor eveyone else but me was hard.

I couldnt expect people to reach out and help after all i have done to ensure that i appeared together, calm, 'whith it', and perfectly fine thank you. Now whilst i left the church on incorrect terms and unreasonable anger, it was the best thing i could have done at that time, i came to understand that faith is not bound by a building, or worship, people.

I learnt to take faith and make it mine, i started relating to god and making it about me and god, not about me and the church and sunday school and youth and small group and bible study and prayre room and leaders and then god.

FInding a group of people that i clicked with, i then discovered that they all (most) went to one church, joining them i started going to their church one in 3 weeks about, joined a bible study. I am loving it, i feel at home.

Inbetween all that i went to a juniors camp, i did 2 things i had vowed never to do, i went to camp unpropared and lost, regardless of this god blessed me with a juior leader that was in a sound place with god but physically tiered, we equaled eachother out. 2ndly after camp i started going out with a co-leader, and here i have to say thank god for his intervention if i had kept to my word, i would never have gotten to know a beautiful and deticated man who is now my fiance.

Whilst i am still not ready to be involved compleetly in church life again, i find myself at a high in terms of my relationship whith god, i am starting to put aside my politics and unreal expectations of the church. But most importantly god has given me a group of people that i feel at home with. From hear who knows, all in all it has been a very interesting 6 months, i wouldnt change it for all the world, a peaceful heart is comming.

Wow yeah just looked at how much i had written, putting this into perspective takes many words. Hmmm, yeah gotta go do the house cleaning.

am sick of being surrounded by fake pretences
people that are only out there for personal gain
the look at me, i need your attention, i need your help people
draining thoes around them. Get over yourself, stop making mountains out of molehills. You have no right to say half the things you do. NO RIGHT. Stop and take a look at thoes around you, they dont have anything left to give you. You have destroyed there scence of self, and drained them of all hope. Replaced it with anger, despise, and fear. Driving the daggers deeper and deeper, till death do they want.

Luke Benjamin Askwith
Born 15 April 1987
Died 31 May 2006

Far the well, and see you again.

I dont understand why, nor how,
but luke we loved you

Until we meet again

HEY HEY
Soz for the long time no postage
well hears wats been going on.

2nd week of jan went on juniors camp and had a BALL!!!!! LOVE JUNIORS!!!!. Cant wait to do it again!!!.
3rd week of jan was home for a few days and packed gear into boxes, and gear for the next camp. then left for kids camp aust.
4th week - kids camp aust!!!! WOOOT wat a blast..... loved it.
feb moved outta home!!!!!!! is soooooooo good!!!!
and no internet ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh at my new place yet which is driving me abrolutly insane!!!! have nothing to do ;P no idea how long till i will get it args
next weekend will be away at a btc camp, and the weekend after that away at a kids camp aust again WOOOOT. and then uni starts.
anyhoo times almost up seeya

Far out kezza that was huge!!!
Well am kinda off and on withth e internet due to renervations so if i havnt talked to you in a while soz but will try and catchup soon.

Am doing well, still crook, my fever has not yet gone down so getting a tad annoyed, oh well still hoping to be good by camp!!!. As for my knee it is doing pretty good!!!. Stupid stairs.

Am realy excited bout camp!!!! woot, crap getting busted by mom, eek

well thats it for today then

prob wont post till after camp now

Well, have been home for one day, and have a fever, sore throat, blocked nose and ears, and i feel like throwing up everytime someone mentions chrismas food. All in all not great makings for a new years eve. Am heading over for a shindig, at 8.30, but dont know weather i will make the distance, might crash on a bed at their joint.

Reflections on this year
~Passed uni – something that 12 months ago I would of sworn would never happen.

~Made it a whole year without having to go on meds, not counting antibiotics or anti-inflammatory.

~Learnt that people are great, and that friendships are awesome.

~Have discovered that my opinion is valid, and that I can voice it, who cares if someone dosnt agree, we can agree to disagree.

~I no longer, roll over and beg, I have a spine, even if it does break at times.

~Didn’t pick up smoking

~Got permanency with the education department

~I grew 8 cms, that was a bit of a WTF, if ever

~Ended basketball with a spectacular crash that landed me with a hyper-extended knee, crushing the cartilage and tearing 2 ligaments.

~Started Taekwondo and LOVE IT

~Went on a juniors camp as a leader for the first time and WOW, was great!!!!m I found people, that I dunno, I could talk and be me for the first in ages, I lernt what companionship and comrades were!!!!!

~Discovered that I can do most things that I put my mind to!!

All in all this year I have started to come out of my shell!!, And am finding my knish. I have had a fantabulous year, and met lots of people along the way, thanks for you all, everyone of you has made an impact and has taught me things love ya all.

Hey all am back!!!!

Lol hope you missed me something cronic:P

Well i had a great time on Christmas day with the relatives, and the day after:P, was awsome to catch up with them all!!.

Had a few days of soul serching and goal setting, twas good, and now am all amped for the next year!!!, well the next month at least!!

Love you all
Kim

HEY HEY
Tis chrissy tomoz YAYAYAYAY

OOOOO and my baby finally came!!!, wooot now have a digital camera!!!

Well i leave tomoz YAY, for 2 days down south with the rellies, but then am doing my annual disapearing trick, so yeah wont be back home until the 30th of decYAYAYAY.

so see you mob when i get back

OOOOO Crap
,no idea what i just did, eeeeek, somehow reset all dates and times on the blogs, and computer, and deleted all comments....might not fiddle
for a while,
kinda new to LJ and well mmmmm, was seeing if could sync this and hotmails version of things, and then tried to import this into word, and yeah was basically stuffing around....... mmmmm

well yeah, i guess i shouldnt do that, meh

well just finished bronze and am compleetly and utterly fried., but it was lots of fun:) and i dont think i want to see a poole for a little while though.
Am moving out on the 4th of febuary. YAY,

so i hink the list of things is pretty much compleeted, just gotta go on the camps but the meetings are comming along well, junours have no more meetings, and kids camp 1 more.

Other things, got uni results, 2 HD, 1 C, 1 P, which brings my year averge to a D sweet!!!,

Am still single :P, not that i have been acting on any impulses to change that, but yeah one can hope and dream.

Teakwondo is finnished for the year, so i have even more time on my hands wich is kinda driving me insane, cos people are realy busy with chrissy and everything ,and like yeah i got nothing to do!!!, but there busy so they cant do anything so sitting on my arse hear getting bored.

and missed the last meeting for junours:( cos was at bronze, so miss all of the people :(,
anyhoo back to knocking out the laundry wall
catchya

Well just enrolled for some of uni for next year, they stuffed up the rest, but hey will fix it later.
On the unit side of things though, i have a unit over these hols, which is cool, cos it includes kids camp, so i get to go on that as part of uni!!!!!.

Sounds great and there first meeting in a couple of days!!!!, great, meens that i can get outta the house a bit :P